Of Loving and Letting Go

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The last few months have been a tough one for me. In all aspects of my life I’ve been having difficulty. My resilience though doesn’t let me dwell. Instead I find myself pushing to come to solutions. I guess that’s who I am. I wish I could just break down have a melt down even but I don’t allow myself to let that happen. Is this a sign of strength? I’m not sure. I fear the day will come when I will break down and find it so hard to build myself back up again. This is a time I find myself loving and letting go.

I rarely if ever post personal things but being the way I am this seems to be my only outlet. Don’t get me wrong. I have family and friends but I don’t want to burden them. They’re also all going through their own personal shit.

My blogging has drastically lessened. I had a problem with Google calling me out on super old posts so I was therefore banned from Google. A big setback for me because I had built this blog up and was getting a comfortable traction. Now I feel like I’m starting all over again. So despite that I continue. I post when I can. I try to share things that other people will be interested in.

My blog is called Art of Being a Mom and it’s been hard being a mom lately. It won’t seem that way to most of the people I know. They seem to see a perfect family and perfect kids. Let me tell you, it’s far from perfect. I constantly feel like I’m failing my kids even though I know I’m working my ass off for them. I fully realized this when I attended my children’s parent teacher conference. They’re actually doing well in school but there are things that I could be helping them out with. I feel so bad when I’m too busy with work to sit down with my teens and help them with school work. I’m so out of it from working day in and day out trying to provide that I feel very lacking in being a present mom to them. Even with my youngest, I know I could be doing so much more. I feel like I’m being pulled from all sides and I don’t know how long I can hold myself together.

The comfort I find is in the fact that people tell me how good my kids are. Those kind words always mean the most to me. They’re respectful, kind, beautiful. I guess I won’t really ever be able to do every single thing I want or should be doing for them.

My home is a mess. I can barely keep up with laundry yet alone cleaning. I find comfort in reading other moms’ blogs how they too are also so caught up with life their homes are also a mess. Still thankful at least that my teens are doing chores. I pound on them sometimes but really I’m so lucky to have them helping me out when they can. I know it’ll help them when they’re on their own to be responsible. Another comfort that I can look forward to.

My style of parenting has always been to teach my kids independence When I say independence I mean true independence not needing me when they’re on their own. I want them to be able to make their own decisions and choices they can live with. I hope I’m on the right path.

Being a woman is tough. Being a wife and a mother, I feel is all the more challenging. How many balls do you have up in the air? I can’t even count mine. I know I’ve dropped plenty. I’m trying so hard. One ball I’ve dropped is being a wife. I’ve had to let go. I can’t continue being a mother and myself and try being a wife to the man I married. I guess this is the most devastating thing that has happened to me. I’m sure everyone I know will  be shocked. You know how people perceive you without you even really doing anything to have that happen? People think my home life is perfect. My marriage is perfect. It’s not. Far from it. Only a husband and a wife can really know what happens in a marriage. Sometimes I don’t know what to feel. A loss of a seventeen year marriage or a birth of a another chance at making things better for ME.

I’ve chosen to separate from my husband. It’s a decision I’m sticking to because I know this is what needs to happen right now. I fear growing old alone but also look forward to the things I’ll be able to do because I’m free to do so now.

To end, as always, I have to still be thankful. Thankful for my kids, their health, my health, abundant work, family and friends. If you feel like giving up, don’t. There’s so much to live for. No matter how hard it seems. I tell myself this every single day.

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AAPS 2016: Athletic Association of Private Schools

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You know how you want to have that one talent that you wish you could explore or actually do? For me it’s dancing. I love that Kianna has a love for it. She joins dance clubs and always participates in dance performances even doing double time performing with her class and her dance club during school events. Her school dance club was chosen to represent them at AAPS 2016, a sports fest type event for the Athletic Association of Private Schools.

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It was held on a weekend but I’m always all out for the kids when they want me. Being teens sometimes they want some space which I understand and it feels great when they ask you to be there. I remember Kianna was so tired everyday from practice. I’m so proud of her commitment and it shows a great trait of always pulling through, putting yourself out there and taking chances.

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Check out their dance. Proud mom here!

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Get Your Money’s Worth with HP DeskJet 5820

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With ever-increasing paperwork demands from school or business, having a reliable and superior-quality printing equipment can prove to be an indispensable and profitable business partner. With the HP DeskJet 5820 printer by your side, you get thousands of high quality pages printed at low cost.

In producing high volumes of college research and high school papers for students or sets of colorful presentation-quality documents for companies, the HP DeskJet 5820 saves on printing costs and grows your profit with its high-capacity ink tank system that enables you to simply add more ink whenever needed.

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HP color ink bottles can produce more than 8,000 pages of visually stunning print outs while an HP black ink bottle can print up to 5,000 pages.

For more visually-impactful and creative posters, brochures, and portfolios, the HP DeskJet 5820 can effortlessly produce crisp, vivid, and full-color output—emphasized by its borderless printing function—for professional projects that can contribute to your business’ array of service offerings. For a game-changing feature, HP also produces water-resistant print outs that can last for decades.

A user-friendly companion, the HP DeskJet 5820 only requires minimal monitoring and maintenance—a tried and tested durable and efficient business tool. It is also equipped with a special spout design for a clean, spill-free refill anytime and a monitoring mechanism that avoids the hassle of excess ink outflow.

To roll with the landscape of innovation, HP’s advanced mobile printing technology allows printing through smartphones, laptops, and tablets through a wireless function that’s available in almost all operating systems. This gives way for efficient business management and multitasking opportunities crucial in any business that requires a fast-paced environment.

With the HP DeskJet 5820 printer, transforming your business into a low-cost, high-performing enterprise, while making sure customers are satisfied with exceptional print outs, is just a small investment away. Want to reinvent your business? Head on over to the closest HP printer reseller and get started on printing thousands of high quality pages that give more value to your money and provide output that can take your business to the next level.

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