Talking to Your Kids About Difficult Topics

Life has its highs and its lows. That’s why we should treasure every minute we spend experiencing life. You most likely picture your kids always having positive interactions with you where you can protect them emotionally, mentally, and physically. But when life throws in situations like divorce, pandemics, drugs, sex, and maybe even child custody in Florida, how do you talk it out with your child? Especially now, with the digital age fully blooming, information accessed by your kids can be harmful or even wrong. So, it’s best to be the first to talk to your kids about sensitive topics.

The impact of communication on tough topics can be beneficial for your child. It can shape their mentality towards dealing with any challenges life throws towards them. You don’t want to avoid such talks as it’s a way to foster fear and a lack of perspective on difficult issues. As a parent, you want open lines of communication. Your child will grow up knowing they can always speak to you about the good and the bad. The age of your kids is a point to ponder when approaching them. As such, here are some helpful tips on how to communicate about difficult matters:

Ages 2-6: The Preschoolers and Toddlers

Kids at these ages have an understanding of basic human emotions and feelings. Your child can notice happiness, sadness, fear, and anger well at this stage. That is perhaps because their world at that moment revolves around the people they share a common space with. It also means that your children won’t be able to understand complex emotional states or world happenings at this age. Communication about sensitive issues with them should therefore be based on simple feelings and language. Here are ways to handle sensitive communication with them:

Filtering your kids’ media access to only age-appropriate content. It allows you to take control and guide the communication levels appropriately
Since their communication is mostly personal, using actions and gestures with your words is advisable. Hugs, shoulder tags, and snuggles are all ways to reassure their safety when talking about tough topics
Speak out the feelings and relate to them. Telling your child how the situation makes you feel and acknowledging how they could feel is important
Be keen and know how they see it first and know the best way to approach them
Watch your words, and don’t label people through your biased view. Unless the current topic call for it, it is best you don’t identify and personally label people. Use words like man, woman, child rather than “The slim lady” or “The Japanese neighbor”
Use the plainest language and words known to them well

Ages 7-12: School-Age Children

Through this stage, your kids will be developing maturity and associating with the world more. Their ability to comprehend complex situations and emotions is better. With learning and growth in their brains, kids at these ages crave information. Exposure to more aspects of the world means they are liable to seeking understanding of tougher topics. Approach them in the following ways:

Look out for the perfect time to talk to them. At this age, it is best to gauge your child’s reaction to sensitive matters. Depending on when you feel they are comfortable, reach out and talk to them
Pull them in to establish safety, and acknowledge any awkwardness. For instance, “This sort of talk can be weird or hard to get over but it is better we talk about them…”
More exposure can lead to curiosity. During and after talks, always try to find out any areas of curiosity your child has. Seek to help them understand more on the issues
Due to their curious nature at this stage, it is best you foster critical thinking for your child. Asking them open-ended questions to ponder makes them understand you and life better
Build optimism

Teenagers

Teenagers crave independence and freedom. They are more exposed and, at times, even part of difficult conversations without you. Social media is probably their favorite thing to pass the time with and access more news and information. Activities encouraging talks about values and societal issues are of fond interest to them. You should talk to them under the following guidelines:

Ensure space for open-dialogue
Encourage them to have their say and support it
Be open towards learning from them and admitting fault
Call for values and beliefs to be shared as you discuss. It will help your child understand to accept values they disagree with

Communication on the most sensitive topics reassures safety and comfortability with your child. It is also a way to make them see and understand different perspectives and issues. Growing up under conditions that favor even difficult talks is a way to build values in your family.