As a newly divorced woman, your life isn’t going to be easy. In fact, there will be a lot of new things to deal with, and they can take a toll on you if you aren’t careful. While confiding in friends or family about your emotional state is often a starting place for moving on after your marriage has ended, there is a lot of other advice for those who are facing the journey of single-living or single-parenting.
1. Get Good Legal Counsel
In order to have a more favorable situation after the divorce is final, you need the right representation during the court case. The firm of Cordell & Cordell is just one of many practices that specialize in family law, and you will want an expert in the field to help represent your interests. The attorneys at Cordell and Cordell company have a focus on men’s divorce needs, but there are other firms that have a more targeted interest in representing women in divorce proceedings. Having the right lawyer can help you get the custody or financial arrangements you need to survive post-divorce.
2. Take Care of Yourself
You will need to take time for grieving and processing what has happened to your relationship and your family. Your emotional state might be a roller coaster, and while this is normal and understandable, you need to deal with these feelings in a healthy, productive way. Take the time to focus on you. Your schedule may become much busier as you try to meet custody schedules or you are left doing all the grocery shopping, cleaning, and school pick-up lines yourself. Try and find moments throughout the day or the week where you can give yourself some attention. Work to follow a routine with a bedtime that allows for plenty of rest, and don’t drown your feelings in unhealthy junk food or bottomless wine glasses.
3. Find Support
Most people find comfort and support in their family and friends after a divorce, and this can be a lifesaver when you are feeling lonely or are going through a wave of hurt and anger. Being able to confide in someone about what your feeling is one way to keep from bottling up the negative emotions that can lead to depression and anxiety, but if you want to find ways to resolve those underlying feelings of guilt or inadequacy, professional help is highly recommended. Whether you are a religious person or not, attending a divorce care class at a local church or outreach center could be a way to connect with others who can identify with your experience. Meeting with a counselor or therapist can help you uncover areas that you have internalized that could follow you into another relationship. Your support system will be critically important for your emotional and mental health after going through a divorce.
4. Stay Single
If your divorce was messy, you may have no interest in jumping into another relationship. However, there are many women who won’t process their grief and cling to the hope that a new partner or spouse will help them heal. This is the furthest thing from the truth. If you have unresolved issues, you will only bring them into the next relationship where they will wreak more havoc. You don’t need to stay single for the rest of your life, but you do need to take the time to focus on yourself. Discover what you like to do or start traveling. Open yourself up to new experiences, and find out you who you are.
Divorce can create identity concerns, so allow yourself to explore the world alone and uninhibited. It will give you a better sense of the best match when you are ready to date again.
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