Having more than 1 child can be challenging. It means dividing your time, your energy and yourself. I divide mine into 3 having a 17 year old, 15 year old and 6 year old. Of course, we all go out as a family but I make it a point to take my kids out individually. I’ve shared with friends how dating your kids is one way to strengthen your relationship and now I’d like to share with all of you why you should date your kids.
Dating your kids doesn’t mean you need to spend extravagantly and go to fancy places but this is fine every once in awhile. Simply asking one of your kids to accompany you on an errand can be considered a date. The whole purpose of dating your kids is to spend one on one quality time with them. It gives you a chance to talk and catch up.
I find that these are perfect opportunities for my kids to open up because it’s just the two of us. Also, remember that these dates are not a time for you to judge, reprimand or scold. Take these dates as a time to listen and understand.
Here are some tips on how to have a productive yet fun date with your kids.
Take them to a movie
One common denominator for me and all 3 of my kids are movies. They each have their preferences and I can watch anything so it works out perfectly. Movie dates usually lead to discussions on different movies and story lines. I learn a lot about how they think and what opinions they form based on movies they’ve watched.
Run errands with them
On some days I go to the grocery alone but on most days I have either Kianna or Bastian with me. It’s during our grocery runs where Kianna and I spend quality time together. She’s very patient and willing to stroll through all the aisles as I choose what we need. Time spent at the grocery leads to conversations about school, love and friendship.
Listen don’t scold
It can be tempting to scold your child when they’ve shared something wrong they’ve done on one of your dates. They let their guard down and share an experience that as a parent you would usually get mad at them for. The thing is if you get mad at them when they’ve chosen to share something personal or something they’ve been hesitating to tell you about you end up closing the door on future revelations. Listen to them, let it sink in and then talk to them about it on another day. If you do decide to talk to them about it do it in a relaxed manner.
Give advice when asked
Another tempting thing to do but what I’ve learned on our dates is not to give advice unless asked. If they share something with you it’s because they’ve been wanting to get it off their chest. It can be an incident that’s already been resolved but something they felt they needed to share with you. The more dates you have the more instances you’ll find that they ask you for your advice.
Find an activity you will both enjoy
Each child has an activity they enjoy and it wholly depends on their age. Anything involving toys or play time will be a success with my youngest. Kianna is almost game for anything and I love having her along during events. With Bastian he seeks adventure and we’ve done activities such as archery and an escape room game.
Make it extra special when they’ve achieved a goal
What I love about my kids is how understanding they are. The smallest thing can already cheer them up. When Kianna was outstanding in school she was thrilled when I treated her to a frappe at Infinitea.
If after your date you feel closer to your child or you understand them better you’ve succeeded with your ultimate goal which is to strengthen your relationship.