Becoming a parent is a major, life-changing event, one that entirely restructures how you live and, in most cases, alters your priorities from that moment forward. People talk a lot about that big moment when you realize you’re going to become a parent, but how often do we talk about the second go-around? If you’re pregnant with your second child, part of you might think that you got this, and that’s a good thing. But there are definitely some tips and things to keep in mind worth thinking about.
Anticipate feeling it much sooner
When you’re first pregnant, those nine months feel like they’re stretching out into nine years. However, the second time around, things are going to feel like they’re going a lot quicker. For one, you’re going to feel the changes in your body a lot more quickly. Many of the early symptoms of pregnancy are going to feel a lot more familiar, and you will be quicker to realize what they actually are. However, there are likely to be some changes, too. Some people feel a lot more morning sickness the second time, for one, and some people feel it a lot less instead. Don’t worry if the symptoms are different, it’s not a sign that anything is out of sorts.
Don’t assume that you know everything you need to know
First of all, while you might be a more experienced parent, and you certainly are going to have those moments where you’re much better able to handle things that were something of a challenge the first time around, you shouldn’t assume that you’re going to be immediately familiar with all that comes with becoming a parent. For instance, you can take a brief look at the overview of parenting classes, and what you can expect throughout pregnancy, birth, and the newborn period. You might find you don’t need quite as much education, but the refresher can definitely help you avoid feeling ill-prepared to welcome a new child to the family.
Get the checklist out
Take the time to prepare another newborn baby checklist and go over all of the items one by one. If you’re lucky enough to have the same checklist you used for baby number one (If you did), don’t be afraid to cross off items that you might now know aren’t strictly necessary. It’s going to be likely that you’ll see items that you already have on that checklist, which is going to save you some money and some time. If it’s been a while since you’ve had your first baby, be sure to ask around your other family members who have since had kids of their own, then may well have lent them some of the essentials and forgotten about it.
When to tell your older child
If your other child is one or two years old, then they’re not very likely to be able to engage with the news that they’re going to have an older sibling. Otherwise, you should do it but do it on your own time. If they’re mature enough to understand right away, then when you’re certain things are going forward might be the right time. It’s going to be a big change for your other child, and you want to make sure that you start that change off on the right foot by finding a fun way to tell them, which might help them get more excited about their role as the future big sibling.
Sharing the news with friends
Although the news may not be quite as exhilarating as the first time you were able to share that you were pregnant, it’s still very much a situation to celebrate. Take the time to tell your friends and family, and if they’re looking to help you celebrate, take the time to learn what is a baby sprinkle and how to throw one. You don’t need to go quite as gung-ho with the party, but you can still take the time to celebrate with those who are close to you. Also, it could be an opportunity to get some nice gifts, too. After all, while you might have a lot of baby resources and tools left over, a little help is always welcome.
Involve the older child in conversations
Most parents reading this are probably going to chat with their new baby. They might not understand us, but they certainly do respond to our voices, and speaking to them is thought to be good for their development, as well. It might be as simple as describing everyday events and happenings to them, or just idly chatting along with them. A good way to get your older child to start the bonding process with their little sibling is to start including them in these little talks, referencing their big sibling, using their name, and playing pretend a little that your kids are talking with one another. It’s silly, but it does help the older child to feel engaged with their little sibling.
Be ready for a little friction
Any period of major change is going to bring some confusion emotions, and maybe some resistance from kids. Even if it’s not strictly logical, it’s natural that they might be scared of how the dynamic in the home is going to change. It’s good to talk to your older child, if possible, about how things might change and the new reality that might arise in the home. Don’t try to focus entirely on the things that are going to be lessened, somehow, for them, be sure to tell them about the new joys that a child will bring as well. If they have some pushback or some disobedience, try to be calm and patient with them, showing that you love and appreciate them, but make sure they stick to any new rules.
Be sure to get some solo-play toys for your child
You might want to think that you’re going to have just as much time to play with your older child, and plenty of attention to spend on them, but you don’t want to be naive. For quite some time, the baby is going to be the focal point of your attention, and that’s natural (not to mention important for their safety.) While you should always make time for the older sibling, you can encourage solo play with the right toys that they can use and enjoy 100% on their own for when you’re not able to focus on them.
Start thinking about your childcare options
Although one might not be a much higher number than two, when we’re talking in terms of children, it can feel like more than double the amount. As such, a lot of parents who were doing just fine managing one by themselves can start to feel like they’re getting stretched a little thin when there’s another one to deal with. To that end, you might want to start looking at your childcare options. This can include asking parents, friends, and family members to babysit more often, but you can also look at things like playgroups for the older child, or a childminder to help with both at once, especially when you’re going back to work. Childcare is likely to start taking up a lot more of the budget, so prepare for that, too.
With the points above in mind, you can make sure that you’re a little more ready for child number two. It may not involve as huge a change to your lifestyle as their older sibling did, but it still brings some changes worth getting prepared for.
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