What are some of the things that parents worry about? Well, there’s their child’s safety, their health and their likability. If we’re going to get real, parents do think about how their children will get along with others, the friends they’ll make and how they’ll either make their mark or follow someone else’s lead. The first step to all of this is building confidence. As early as 5 years old you can start building a child’s confidence but it’s the teen years that need attention.
I talked to my eldest, Bastian about it. He’s a pretty confident guy. At 17 years old he carries himself well, is well rounded and a well liked person. It wasn’t always like that believe me. At one point he was also bullied but he learned how to find himself and how to be the person he wants to be.
I have some ideas of how to help build a child’s confidence but here are tips straight from Bastian. Every generation is different and these tips may be more on point and timely.
Put Yourself Out There
Bastian says to start small. Teens can start by reciting more in class. In a way it’s like taking a risk because you call attention to yourself and share your thoughts. You may be right or wrong, have a different opinion but you take a chance. The more often you speak in front of other people the more you get comfortable socializing.
I asked Bastian what movie inspired him to put himself out there and it was a little well known movie called Catch Me if You Can. At first I thought it was an odd choice but he explains that the main character, Frank Abagnale, Jr. was able to convince many people that he was a pilot at only 17 years old. He notes the charisma and the confidence because he took a risk. Although, of course it was an illegal one but I think he was just trying to point out that you have to put yourself out there and believe in what you can do.
Speak Well
One way to gain confidence is to learn how to speak well. You don’t have a to be a literary genius but it would help to be able to carry a conversation and go in depth on topics that interest you. When you speak well, you command attention and a presence which helps you to socialize.
Teens can keep some conversation starters in mind preferably on topics they can relate and expound on. It can be movies, books, experiences and more. There’s always someone else who shares the same interest.
Bastian likes to read and watch movies with a meaty content so I think it’s helped him to be able to converse with most anyone. I often seem him on his iPad reading all sorts of topics from Science to poems and song lyrics.
Find Your Fashion Sense
Dressing well will most definitely help with a teen’s confidence. As Bastian says, to dress well means to find your style and refine it. The fit is of the utmost importance in Bastian’s book, “You can have nice clothes but if it doesn’t fit well…”
He is a very millenial and modern guy, researching different styles on YouTube and Pinterest. I’m not exactly sure what his style is but he keeps it simple and clean. He suggests having clothing staples:
- Black, white and gray t-shirts
- Black and gray pants
- White shoes
- Light and dark denim pants
- Bomber, leather or denim jacket and a hoodie
Have you experienced color fading? Well, Bastian’s very particular about it and since he washes his own clothes he’s extra careful with them. We use Downy at home because it smells good but also because it protects our clothes from fading with its Color Protection Technology.
Keep it Clean
Lastly and most importantly, your hygiene is a fashion statement as well. Your hygiene says something about you. Take the time to groom yourself by keeping nails trimmed, flossing, making sure to have fresh breath, having clean hair and smelling pleasant.
Good smelling clothes can give an enormous amount of confidence. I’ve been using Downy Sweetheart because I love how strong yet sweet it smells. I was using Mystique but I’ve switched over to this and the kids love the scent as well.
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I don’t have a teen yet but I know I’ll have one someday and I pray that I can help build my son’s confidence. Confidence really goes a long way not only for teens but for all ages.
I’m using downy too but I prefer a different variant. Gusto ko light scent lang kasi yung damit.
I agree with most of what you said. My eldest will be a teenager next year and these are the same things I worry about. Thanks for the helpful tips. 🙂
I would have to agree that a lack of confidence among kids and teens is a major concern. I may not have my own children but as volunteer trainer for a local high school here in Bacolod, this is one of the things we aim to address. These tips are are very helpful and will discuss this with them during our next session since I believe that being able to dress well and good would certainly give them a boost.
I love the tips you shared here! My son is still 5 years old but I’m glad he’s confident at school. Baliktad sya because he’s shier at home. I don’t pressure him about it and just let his natural growth take its course.
“Find your fashion sense”. I am not into fashion but I believe that you just have to choose your own fashion sense. The real you, not because it is your favorite artist’s fave. As long as you’re comfortable that’s your own fashion statement. Thank you for the tips.
Thank you for the tips! I have a 7yo kid and he was also bullied before. I’m now starting to let him out there on his own and fight his battles but at home, I’m keeping a strong support system to help build his confidence. And yes, important din talaga yung appearance and how they relate to other kids.