Having more than 1 child can be challenging. It means dividing your time, your energy and yourself. I divide mine into 3 having a 17 year old, 15 year old and 6 year old. Of course, we all go out as a family but I make it a point to take my kids out individually. I’ve shared with friends how dating your kids is one way to strengthen your relationship and now I’d like to share with all of you why you should date your kids.
Dating your kids doesn’t mean you need to spend extravagantly and go to fancy places but this is fine every once in awhile. Simply asking one of your kids to accompany you on an errand can be considered a date. The whole purpose of dating your kids is to spend one on one quality time with them. It gives you a chance to talk and catch up.
I find that these are perfect opportunities for my kids to open up because it’s just the two of us. Also, remember that these dates are not a time for you to judge, reprimand or scold. Take these dates as a time to listen and understand.
Here are some tips on how to have a productive yet fun date with your kids.
Take them to a movie
One common denominator for me and all 3 of my kids are movies. They each have their preferences and I can watch anything so it works out perfectly. Movie dates usually lead to discussions on different movies and story lines. I learn a lot about how they think and what opinions they form based on movies they’ve watched.
Run errands with them
On some days I go to the grocery alone but on most days I have either Kianna or Bastian with me. It’s during our grocery runs where Kianna and I spend quality time together. She’s very patient and willing to stroll through all the aisles as I choose what we need. Time spent at the grocery leads to conversations about school, love and friendship.
Listen don’t scold
It can be tempting to scold your child when they’ve shared something wrong they’ve done on one of your dates. They let their guard down and share an experience that as a parent you would usually get mad at them for. The thing is if you get mad at them when they’ve chosen to share something personal or something they’ve been hesitating to tell you about you end up closing the door on future revelations. Listen to them, let it sink in and then talk to them about it on another day. If you do decide to talk to them about it do it in a relaxed manner.
Give advice when asked
Another tempting thing to do but what I’ve learned on our dates is not to give advice unless asked. If they share something with you it’s because they’ve been wanting to get it off their chest. It can be an incident that’s already been resolved but something they felt they needed to share with you. The more dates you have the more instances you’ll find that they ask you for your advice.
Find an activity you will both enjoy
Each child has an activity they enjoy and it wholly depends on their age. Anything involving toys or play time will be a success with my youngest. Kianna is almost game for anything and I love having her along during events. With Bastian he seeks adventure and we’ve done activities such as archery and an escape room game.
Make it extra special when they’ve achieved a goal
What I love about my kids is how understanding they are. The smallest thing can already cheer them up. When Kianna was outstanding in school she was thrilled when I treated her to a frappe at Infinitea.
If after your date you feel closer to your child or you understand them better you’ve succeeded with your ultimate goal which is to strengthen your relationship.
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You’re not just a responsible mother to them, but also a mother that knows how to interact with her kids in the most thoughtful, caring and loving way. I’m not getting that kind of treatment from my mother and only few parents who could do that as well. I truly admire and salute you for being so great to your lovely kids. I’m sure that they are truly thankful to have you as their mother.
Thank you very much! I sure do hope they are!
I do! I love having date with my son. Since he was young and until now that he is now 20, I always find time to ask him for a date. We usually eat his favorite pepperoni pizza while I sip smoothie or coffee. We talk while we eat. This summer in particular, he had his summer job/OJT in a BPO company, he paid for our date in a Korean restaurant.
I date my mom every chance we get! I am a certified mama’s boy and bonding and spending quality time with her is more rewarding than hanging out wit my friends…we can have many friends but we only have one mom so I will treasure every moment with her and I wouldn’t mind taking her with my travels and adventure too ^_^
your kids are very lucky to have a caring and loving mother like you
Well, to be honest all you’ve enumerated are really nice things to say. You as a mom have done a wonderful job. My only wish is that other parents would realize that listening and hearing your child’s words are better than listening to what some relatives would say. I was treated differently so in some points, I may disagree. But truthfully speaking, it’s better to hang out and get to know your kids than to just order them around or pressure them into doing something they don’t like.
I have only one child, and I practically take him wherever I go. We do everything together – running errands, shopping for groceries, even when I go on coffee dates with friends, haha. It’s nice to know that you find time to go out on separate dates with all three of your kids. I’m sure they appreciate all the little things you do for them. 🙂
Yes, I do. I always make time to go out on a date with my daughter. We dine, shop and play at the mall or sometimes if there’s a great movie that suits to my daughter’s age we watch a movie too. Since my husband works abroad it’s just me and my daughter who always hang out.
My parents did the one on one date with us, too, when we were kids. Though it wasn’t as frequent since, collectively, dating 4 kids at different occasions cost a lot for our family. One thing that I miss when we were kids was when we go jogging as a family and eat breakfast at the park before going home. 🙂 Fun times with the folks, those days.
YES I DO! Every month I always spend time together with my son like playing outside in Quezon City Circle or even sa mall sa play house there. Kumakain din kami sa labas specially pag nandito ang papa nya. It helps to your kids to strengthens your relationship and bonding.
I grew up going on special “dates” with my mom or dad or even aunt or uncle so that tradition was easily extended to my daughter. When my daughter was a bit younger, we love to frequent the gaming arcades and play Love & Berry together or Mario Kart. Now that she’s older, we love to shop and dine in restaurants. She and my husband have their own special dates also- like watching movies and having art lessons together.
I also “date” my panganay, usually when I attend kiddie events. I grab these opportunities because we really don’t get enough bonding time at home since she goes to school in the afternoon and I go to work at different shifts 🙂
I think these are great ideas. Well, my daughter is still too young for the movies but I try as much as I can to give her undivided attention. For us, activities are dates.
My daughter is still very young but I consider having activities with her as dating. It is important that we have time together playing or reading.
My youngest is just 2 years old but I make sure I spend individual time with them to do things that they enjoy doing.
Haven’t found time lately to be with one on one dates with my girls, usually we have Daddy with us. But even my husband agrees that spending time with each of my girls will be healthy for our relationship. Thanks for all the tips!
Aww, this is so sweet. My family and I, we always make sure to set a movie, dinner date every month, it’s not something extravagant and expensive but it’s also one way of bonding with my family and making sure everyone is enjoying. We used to do this since we were little and now that we’re grown ups, it’s the other way around and I date my mom and dad. <3
That’s such a sweet gesture! Hopefully, one day my kids will take me out on dates. 🙂
I don’t have kids yet but this is something I would definitely do with my kids. I always crave for my mom and dad’s time when I was a kid, sometimes I’d even beg for it. Fast forward to present, I’ve learned to live away from them. It’s tough. It’s not something I want my future kids to experience.