Marriage is truly a roller coaster of ups and downs, some good, some bad, some happy, and some sad. I’ve had a theory that has helped me in the “down” times of my marriage. Ready?
It can only go “up”.
If you can accept that marriage will have it’s downs and you look forward to the ups you’ll stay for the ride.
Too many times have I seen couples bail on one another because there’s always an option for an out. You’re probably familiar with the fights where you tell the other to leave or you yourself leave, right? After about 10 times of doing that my husband looked at me and said “Don’t ever ask me to leave again unless you mean it because I will”. That woke me up. From that day on I never uttered those words. No mater how terrible the fights or heartache.
Being in love also means being committed to one another and seeing your partner as a partner for life. If in the back of your mind you always have that thought of having an out or leaving you won’t have a lasting marriage but a temporary one.
No two people are perfect and no two people are perfect for one another. Rather, you learn to accept one another’s faults and help each other grow to be a better version of yourself. You wouldn’t believe but when we started out it was a whirlwind of romance, passion and heated arguments. I realize though that we were that passionate because we loved each other and there was always a fear of losing the other. We married very young and had many insecurities and worries. Most of which was related to jealousy and self worth.
Today, our marriage is a very relaxed and smooth ride. We are one in our goal and have made our family a priority with everything else being a pleasant addition. Nowadays, it’s full of laughter and contentment.
Don’t get me wrong, I still have those moments where I’m frustrated beyond belief but in that I also have a calming sense that it will be fine. It will be resolved.
We hardly fight and sometimes laugh and joke about it. Laughter is an important part of marriage. Keeping yourself interested in each other is also work but the good kind. Giving each other space to explore opportunities apart from one another is also important. In my case, I’ve ventured into blogging and events. I find happiness in it. He loves to play basketball and joins games and sportsfests when he can.
Growing up in home where my father was absent, it’s important to me to provide a positive sense of family. We’re different and probably weird but it’s delightfully different and one we call our own.
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