Do You Date Your Kids?

Posted on

Having more than 1 child can be challenging. It means dividing your time, your energy and yourself. I divide mine into 3 having a 17 year old, 15 year old and 6 year old. Of course, we all go out as a family but I make it a point to take my kids out individually. I’ve shared with friends how dating your kids is one way to strengthen your relationship and now I’d like to share with all of you why you should date your kids.

Dating your kids doesn’t mean you need to spend extravagantly and go to fancy places but this is fine every once in awhile. Simply asking one of your kids to accompany you on an errand can be considered a date. The whole purpose of dating your kids is to spend one on one quality time with them. It gives you a chance to talk and catch up.

I find that these are perfect opportunities for my kids to open up because it’s just the two of us. Also, remember that these dates are not a time for you to judge, reprimand or scold. Take these dates as a time to listen and understand.

Here are some tips on how to have a productive yet fun date with your kids.

Take them to a movie

One common denominator for me and all 3 of my kids are movies. They each have their preferences and I can watch anything so it works out perfectly. Movie dates usually lead to discussions on different movies and story lines. I learn a lot about how they think and what opinions they form based on movies they’ve watched.

Run errands with them

On some days I go to the grocery alone but on most days I have either Kianna or Bastian with me. It’s during our grocery runs where Kianna and I spend quality time together. She’s very patient and willing to stroll through all the aisles as I choose what we need. Time spent at the grocery leads to conversations about school, love and friendship.

Listen don’t scold

It can be tempting to scold your child when they’ve shared something wrong they’ve done on one of your dates. They let their guard down and share an experience that as a parent you would usually get mad at them for. The thing is if you get mad at them when they’ve chosen to share something personal or something they’ve been hesitating to tell you about you end up closing the door on future revelations. Listen to them, let it sink in and then talk to them about it on another day. If you do decide to talk to them about it do it in a relaxed manner.

Give advice when asked

Another tempting thing to do but what I’ve learned on our dates is not to give advice unless asked. If they share something with you it’s because they’ve been wanting to get it off their chest. It can be an incident that’s already been resolved but something they felt they needed to share with you. The more dates you have the more instances you’ll find that they ask you for your advice.

Find an activity you will both enjoy

Each child has an activity they enjoy and it wholly depends on their age. Anything involving toys or play time will be a success with my youngest. Kianna is almost game for anything and I love having her along during events. With Bastian he seeks adventure and we’ve done activities such as archery and an escape room game.

Make it extra special when they’ve achieved a goal

What I love about my kids is how understanding they are. The smallest thing can already cheer them up. When Kianna was outstanding in school she was thrilled when I treated her to a frappe at Infinitea.

If after your date you feel closer to your child or you understand them better you’ve succeeded with your ultimate goal which is to strengthen your relationship.

Facebooktwittergoogle_pluspinterestmailby feather

A Valentines First

Posted on

This is the first Valentines I spent separated. It was only on this holiday that I realized the gravity of my decision. Not that I’m regretting it or having second thoughts, it was just a realization that I am alone. When I say alone, I mean romantically alone. I know I have my children, family and friends. This is the usual line I get when I even mention that I’m alone or depressed or sad. Well meaning friends but all the same a brush off of some sort.

What should I be complaining about right? I have 3 beautiful kids. I have a great job and I’m able to support my kids financially or I try my best to.

The thing is being lonely is real. You will always look for a partner or a companion. It’s the natural way of thinking.

I try not to dwell on it too much but I think my circumstance is just a tiny bit unique in that I built a wall so high that even I have a hard time tearing it down. I must seem aloof, hard to talk to or just plain uninteresting. The right answer to all of this is that I just need to give myself time. I guess.

2017-02-14 01.47.22

It’s so odd that it was only when I found myself single again that I’m more open to people but have so limited means to actually get to know more people. I know, I know what a conundrum!

So I may be “alone” but I’m hanging in there. Hoping there’s more and giving importance to the only people that matter most to me, my children.

After all this, you can imagine that my Valentines was a bit depressing. Until, that is I received a care package from Robinsons Selections that had some of my favorite chocolates. Second to receiving gifts from my kids, it was the highlight of my day.

2017-02-15 08.17.42

In a perfect world, I’d be one of the many people I saw on my Facebook wall being gifted by their significant other with a bouquet of flowers or stacks of chocolates. Just a couple of years back I was one of those people but not everything that glitters is gold.

As you can see, I’ve shared way too much of myself. Sandwiched in between my product features, events and reviews are posts like this. This is where I can float what ever I want out there and not have to seriously think about who is reading this and what they would think. If I have reached you somehow and you’d love a share, please feel free to comment or message me. <3

#MySelections #RobinsonsSelections 

Facebooktwittergoogle_pluspinterestmailby feather

On Being a Single Mom and New Possibilities

Posted on

Years back I never would have thought I’d be a single mom. Probably, the thought that I had gotten married at such a young age made me think that this was what my life would be. Turns out you can never really tell what will happen.

Is it scary? Yes. Is it tiring? Double yes. Am I hopeless? No. I actually feel like despite being a single parent that there are so many opportunities that await me. My relationship with my kids have never been better. I realize now that all my energy had gone into making sure my husband was placated that I neglected my kids in other ways. I think the most hurtful thing I learned was that my kids thought I loved their father more than them which is nothing but further from the truth.

Today, despite my hectic work schedule (no sleep guys!), I have more time for my kids, have a peaceful heart and a promising adventure that awaits me. I guess the one thing that has caught me off guard is the fact that I am now alone after being married 17 years.

Want to hear a funny story? Years back, we were all in our car coming from somewhere and I had suggested to play music from my phone. After a few tracks the song Secret Lovers by Atlantic Starr came on. We fought about this because my playing and having this song on my phone meant I had a secret lover (which I didn’t). This incident made me stop listening to the song. The fact that I liked it just for the melody and interesting story line didn’t matter anymore. Today, this song is on a loop and I play it whenever I want just because I can. You might be thinking what’s the big deal? I feel free. I can play what I want, stay out until when and where I want and do anything I want. I’ve never felt more free.

So yes, there are downsides to being a single parent but right now I’m enjoying the upsides. Talk to me in a few years. I may change my tune by then. For now, I’ll enjoy my alone time and being me.

Facebooktwittergoogle_pluspinterestmailby feather