Years back I never would have thought I’d be a single mom. Probably, the thought that I had gotten married at such a young age made me think that this was what my life would be. Turns out you can never really tell what will happen.
Is it scary? Yes. Is it tiring? Double yes. Am I hopeless? No. I actually feel like despite being a single parent that there are so many opportunities that await me. My relationship with my kids have never been better. I realize now that all my energy had gone into making sure my husband was placated that I neglected my kids in other ways. I think the most hurtful thing I learned was that my kids thought I loved their father more than them which is nothing but further from the truth.
Today, despite my hectic work schedule (no sleep guys!), I have more time for my kids, have a peaceful heart and a promising adventure that awaits me. I guess the one thing that has caught me off guard is the fact that I am now alone after being married 17 years.
Want to hear a funny story? Years back, we were all in our car coming from somewhere and I had suggested to play music from my phone. After a few tracks the song Secret Lovers by Atlantic Starr came on. We fought about this because my playing and having this song on my phone meant I had a secret lover (which I didn’t). This incident made me stop listening to the song. The fact that I liked it just for the melody and interesting story line didn’t matter anymore. Today, this song is on a loop and I play it whenever I want just because I can. You might be thinking what’s the big deal? I feel free. I can play what I want, stay out until when and where I want and do anything I want. I’ve never felt more free.
So yes, there are downsides to being a single parent but right now I’m enjoying the upsides. Talk to me in a few years. I may change my tune by then. For now, I’ll enjoy my alone time and being me.