How to be Alone

I’ve never been alone…until now. I married very young at 19 and had my first child at 20. Straight from my mom I went with my husband. I guess you could say I didn’t have a normal young adult life. I find myself in my late 30’s now and alone. I know it’s of my own choosing but did I really have a choice when I can’t accept what’s happened? Now, I have to learn how to be alone.

I sit here blogging about how I feel at 3am because I don’t have anyone to talk to. IΒ can’t help but feel just how tough it’s been lately. Which is so odd because the few times I out people tell me I look good. Odd isn’t it how I look outsideΒ doesn’t reflect what I feel inside. I guess that’s better than the alternative.

So how do you learn how to be alone? It seems like it’s taking it a day at a time. I’ve kept myself busy but I find myself not sleeping too well. Hence, the late night blogging. I feel an immense sadness at the prospect of being alone. I see my teens and realize in just a few years they’ll be having their own lives. Jael has started school and he’s going to need me less and less as time goes by. After a 17 year marriage the prospect of being on my own is both exciting and frightening.

Lately, I’ve been spending time with friends and staying out late which I never did before. There’s a certain freedom to it but how long will this feeling last? Eventually will I look for someone to be with and talk to? Sorry for the downer. Just another share here. I seem strong to the people that know me and I guess maybe it’s because I’m not showing much emotion. I do feel sad though. I just don’t let it take over me that I lose myself and my focus on what matters, my kids. So another night goes by. To those who are committed further that commitment by choosing to be with the person you’re with. Be present, responsible and always do things for the people you love.

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22 thoughts on “How to be Alone

  1. Sending some virtual hug. I like to be surrounded by friends and family because they make me feel accepted and secured. However, I have also learned to appreciate my own company. It might be a tough start but once you learn to enjoy being alone with yourself and with your thoughts, you’d be surprised on how you’d like discover yourself more.

  2. Hey.. I may not know more about your situation, but I hope that you will indeed eventually find peace and be okay somehow πŸ™‚ Maybe you could get your source of strength from your kids and work from there? I’m not in the position to give an advice, but I hope that you will be able to overcome this struggle you’re in right now. Not just for you, but for your kids as well πŸ™‚

  3. Find something you love doing and exploit it to its maximum. It doesn’t matter what it is, you need to find something you LOVE doing that the hours passed and you forget where the time goes.

    If that’s the feeling you get with your writing then pour everything into that. Find the most beautiful places in your local area, take pictures and write about them.

    Take up classes, pick up a new course, go swimming or horse riding. Do anything that involves you and your passion something.

    The more you give in to your own needs you’ll soon realise being alone is a bonus. And in the long term you can share your all the goodness you’ve got in your spirits with someone else.

    But for now your sole focus is you! You are your own best friend! Lick your own wounds and find your way back up!

    Email me, Facebook me, Instagram me, just find me if you ever need to talk!

  4. I may not know about your situation but I am sending a high here from India. Life throws challenges at us, the good thing is being strong and looking at the positives. I think you can discover more about your self. All the best πŸ™‚

  5. Hugggs for you from afar! We are on the opposite thing. I am most of the time alone (but not lonely) I think when we get to the age of almost 40 things changed a lot… How to be alone? depends on how we want to be alone.. I am comfortable being alone and just be myself getting cozy and lazy..hahahaha.. but yes, I understand your part especially that it’s unusual to you. Just be brave and keep the goal intact, for sure everything wil be alright.

  6. I hope you find the strength you need to tackle your situation but it is important to learn to be alone but yet not feel lonely. So consider this as an investment where you are spending time by yourself

  7. Sending you some virtual thoughts and kindness. I am alone a lot of the time and I want you to know it’s not something to be scared of. It can actually be very rewarding. You can learn to find yourself and just enjoy yourself as a person. You should watch a movie called “How to be Single”. It’s about how important it is to like yourself before others. Good luck XX

  8. Try to find yoyr inner strength, you’ll find yourself much more serene than with another person, so that once you’ll find another one you’ll be indipendent and will fully appreciate a new life and relationship. Focus on yourself: your hobbies, family, friends and work. You’ll then be alone but not lonely, which is a lot different. Good luck! πŸ™‚

  9. Here’s a virtual cookie for you! You’ll be okay, I’m sure of that. You’ll have more time to discover yourself and learn new things to keep you busy. I think it’s challenge enough to be a teen mom and have a family so early in your life, you’ll weather through this just fine! πŸ˜€ Keep writing!

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