Did you know that people loved in different ways and sometimes we misunderstand a person’s depth of love for us because we don’t know the ways that they show love? I learned about the 5 Love Languages back in college when I was taking psychology. It was a very enlightening experience and from the time that I took the test I was able to understand that my husband and I may show love differently but it is love.
According to Dr. Gary Chapman who came up with this theory through his counseling sessions with couples, love is shown in 5 languages, Words of Affirmation, Acts of Service, Receiving Gifts, Quality Time, and Physical Touch.
It’s a very interesting theory and for me, a proven thought that we each have our own way of showing love. We may feel that our spouse or partner does not love us because they don’t do certain things but it could be that they are showing you love the way they know how and not the ideal way you want to be loved.
You can discover your love language by taking a simple test. Ideally, for couples both should take the test as there are separate tests for husbands and for wives. In this way, you can learn your spouse’s way of showing love and also show your partner how you show love.
Before I took this test, I wondered why my husband wasn’t as vocal about showing me that he loved me. He would tell me he loved me but I seemed to seek words of affirmation from him which I realized when I took the test. I wanted to be told I was doing a great job on something or that I was correct on a matter. It validated me when he did so.
I had my husband take the test and to my surprise it showed that my husband showed love through Physical Touch which was in fact true. My husband always touches and holds me and I realized that in doing this he was showing me he loved me. To this day, almost 8 years later this is still true. I also learned that he felt he was being loved when I did Acts of Service.
If you need a little insight to your marriage or relationship and maybe a little assurance, try this test. Have your partner take it to better understand how you love each other and how the other would like to be loved.