The statistics of child endangerment is alarming and overwhelming. Yet, there’s nothing we can really do about it except protect our children as much as we possibly can. By making our children aware of the different scenarios they may come across we can better help them plan for child safety. If children know what to do in any given situation they have more of a chance to fight back and survive an attempt to harm them.
In order for this to be possible they have to know what kind of scenarios can happen and it can be a difficult discussion to have with your children. It seems like we taint their innocence by telling them the dangerous ways of the world but it’s a solid solution to make sure they grow up confident, safe and secure.
I would like to share some ways that we practice child safety. I have a 13, 12 and 3 year old. My youngest is a little too young yet to discuss these things but I have had the discussion with my older children. Here’s what we have planned in these scenarios.
a) At Home
There may be times when your children are home alone . The first rule is to make sure that they don’t tell strangers or even neighbors that they are home alone unless they can be trusted. If they should get a call asking for their parents rather than say that they aren’t home they can say they are in the bathroom or asleep.
It’s better that your children do not answer the door except for family members. If it is a delivery guy or the like they can always return. This lessens your children to potential crimes like robbery, abduction, etc.
Make sure they always check through a peephole who is at the door. If they should open it have the chain hooked so the door is only opened part way.
b) At School
I myself have witnessed an attempted abduction at school when I was a child. The girl they tried to abduct was brave because though they were able to grab her she fought back by biting the man who grabbed her and going through the opposite door of the car. Once she was out of the car she attracted attention by yelling. It was a busy time as children were all coming out of the school and plenty of parents were waiting to pick up their children. If she had not had the courage to do what she did she would have been taken.
As much as possible have your child walk in a group if they walk home. With the emergence of cellphones it also helps to load apps that can track your child where you can actually see where they are.
There are also GPS locators that can show you where your child is at any given time. If you’re a working parent make sure to give your child a call at the time you know they should be home. I ask my children to text me a very short message to let me know when they have arrived at school (AM-means am here) and GH-going home). It makes a world of difference to know the times that they are on their way home from school.
c) At the Mall
It happens especially in a crowded mall that we lose sight of our children. If we’re lucky it’s just for a few seconds. If they should be separated from you, you need to provide a clear plan of what to do.
Every mall has a toy store and this would be the best place to meet them if you should separate. However, if they are too young to find their way around the mall have them ask a female grownup who is also with a child for help. They will feel more relaxed approaching another mommy.
d) On the Street
Abductions right on the street happen everyday. Warn your children to stay away from parked vans. If a car or van should stop in front of them asking for directions tell them to keep a safe distance away. The best response is to walk away and go to the nearest group of people or a familiar store right away. They should never take rides from anyone unless you have informed them to do so.
A common scenario is when a stranger approaches a child to tell them that their mommy or daddy has been in accident and they need to go with them. Tell your children who will pick them up from school or who they can safely go with if this should happen.
e) Online
Online predators are the hardest to catch. They have the guise of the internet to help them in making contact with a child and eventually abducting them. Although you can place software to keep track of your child’s activities, nowadays children are internet savvy they can bypass safety software. They need to be told what kind of people are on the internet.
I had my children watch a movie, Trust to show them just what could happen. It was a frightening realization that your children can have a whole ‘nother world that you are not involved in. If they know the harm that can come to them they themselves will take precautions and keep safe even online.
In this day and age almost every child has their own cellphone. It can also be a powerful tool in helping your child stay safe. Make sure to remind your child to charge their phones. A phone call away might just be the help that they need.
There are plenty more scenarios out there but these are some basic ones that can prepare your child and leave with a sense of confidence, calm and safety. In knowing what they can do they are able to help themselves better.
Do you have other scenarios in mind or ways to keep safe? I would love to hear your suggestions.
Isn’t it sad that our poor kids can’t just be kids? I know parents who won’t even let their older children play outside alone–and we live in a safe, suburban area with little crime. Still, anything can happen, and it’s better to be cautious than careless.
My children are such animal nuts that I’ve warned them repeatedly about the “lost puppy” ploy. They’ve been told that if any adult approaches them and asks for their help to find a lost pet, they need to get home or to an adult they trust, pronto.
We try to keep the fear factor to a minimum, because I don’t want to raise overly paranoid kids. But they need to know how to keep themselves safe.
Your tips are excellent. I hope our kids never forget them.
Thanks for stopping by Julie! It is important to find a balance between making them aware and still making sure that they don’t live in fear. I’m glad my tips have been helpful and hope that it reaches more moms out there.
It’s so sad that children are losing their innocence so quickly, but it’s a dangerous world we live in. Better safe than sorry!
At the mall, another thing kids can do is to go over to the information desk and ask for a PA broadcast to let their parents know where they are.
These are excellent tips – thanks for sharing!
Hi Modern Gypsy,
That’s an excellent tip! Thanks for sharing. 🙂
Thanks for sharing such a detailed article on how to keep children safe.
You’re right that parents have to constantly be aware of their children’s safety, even at home or at school, places where we assume that kids are typically safe. I’m so glad that little girl was able to fend for herself and escape, she was lucky!
That’s a great reminder that we have to constantly be aware and talk to kids, even young kids, about what to do in these situations.
Hi MonicaOnMoney,
Glad you found the article informative. It seems like common knowledge but we really need to reinforce these things with our kids. Thanks again!
These are excellent tips! I sometimes miss the freedom of previous generations and I think that children, especially older, should have some intimacy. But I do believe in the power of conversation – I actually wish that my parents took more time for these talks. I was a victim myself and I’m still overly paranoid as a consequence (for example, I have mace with me whenever I go running).
Thanks for sharing your experience Masha. It’s great that you pointed out the power of conversation. It’s a tremendous factor in helping our children stay safe.
This is something I think a lot of parents don’t like thinking about (myself included,) but it is imperative to teach stranger safety. Young kids are just so trusting it doesn’t even occur to them that someone may want to harm them. Thanks for your tips.
Liz
PINKx3.com
It’s so heartbreaking to see a child lose their trust in someone. Ideally kids should be able to keep their innocence but it can’t be both ways. Thanks for the visit Liz!
Great article! I think it’s important to educate children about safety issues at an early age. When we go to a new place, we will walk around the entire area once and find an easy-to-spot location to meet up at in case we become separated.
That’s an excellent tip! Your child will become familiar with the place and it will lessen the panic. Thanks Julie!
I don’t have any children, but you make great points and some great tips.
Thanks Vee!
This is very big concern of mine right now. I have an 11 yo girl and an 8yo girl. The oldest is starting to ask to do things with her friends without parents, like walking to the local ice cream spot after school, or going to football games with her friends. I just can’t seem to stop thinking about how easy it would be for someone to try to abduct her or one of her friends. No matter how much I tell her what to do if that happens, I don’t trust that when put in that situation she will follow my advice. The movie you recommended looks very good. Would it be appropriate for an 11yo, or is it too mature?
Thanks Renee@Addicted2saving.com! Their fight for independence will naturally come into play. We just have to arm them with as much information and confidence that we can. When you have girls the worry doubles. It is a good movie but it does have some semi-graphic sexual scenes. My daughter was 11 years old when we watched it but we had already had discussions about sex and I was there to answer her questions. Here’s a synopsis of the movie and you can check if you feel comfortable with the scenes in the movie.
http://www.imdb.com/title/tt1529572/synopsis?ref_=tt_stry_pl
Thanks for that synopsis! Iight let her watch it and just skip the graphic parts. Thanks!
You’re welcome Renee!
I have three kids, ages 7, 7 and 10, and we found a really helpful DVD at the library (called The Safe Side) about stranger safety. It had us identify 2-3 trusted adults that the kids can trust in any circumstance, and they know the situations when they’re allowed to open the door, etc. I try not to get them paranoid about stranger attacks, because the stats are that children are more likely to be hurt by someone they know (coaches, etc.). So we talk about trusting your instinct and paying attention to your surroundings.
Hi Gina,
Thanks for sharing that approach. Sadly, it is true that children are hurt by those they know. Trusting your instincts and paying attention are great tips.
Great tips. I think we have all felt those few minutes of panic when you are at a crowded playground or mall and don’t see your child right away. Best to have a plan in place!
Hi Pam,
Yes, it feels like your heart leaps up into your throat. It’s hard to breathe and you’re just worried with fright. Thanks for reading and commenting!
You have some good ideas. I saw the movie Trust and it was truly scary how this man was able to manipulate this girl! But I also think it is important to get away from the “Stranger danger” and help our kids use their instincts on who to trust. I have told my kids that even if someone is my friend, if they make you feel uncomfortable you need to honor that feeling. It is important they understand that because too many times children are abused, abducted by people they know.
Hi Carla,
Yes, they say Stranger Danger did more harm than good. Sometimes kids would want to trust their instincts but out of fear are unable to react. This is where the knowledge and confidence to speak up comes in. Thanks for visiting!
I like that idea about going to a woman with kids, especially because kids can’t always find an “official” adult in a mall or something. I know someone who writes her name and cell phone number in the child’s shoe — on the inside of the tongue, so if the child is lost, they can show someone and that person can call.
That’s a good tip! It’s not easily seen and something a child can easily remember. Thanks Lindsey!
Great tips! Thank You, I take it as a little reminder… I need to talk to my 9 year old daughter about those dangers. I have already done but it won’t hurt to do it again!!
Yes, absolutely true. We need to check in with them once in awhile even if we’ve talked to them. As time passes their perceptions change and they might have a new take or opinion on certain things. Thanks Isabelle!
I remember stating, “my parents can’t come to the phone right now” many times when my brother and I were home alone. Though I am a stay-at-home mom, I still need to chat with my son about these concerns. My girls are still too young as they might get scared at this point.
It’s sad that our world has come to this. Long are the days when you could leave your doors unlocked, windows open, and ask a stranger for help. Thanks for the checklist and ways to handle these scenarios. Stay safe!
Those days seem to be long gone and along with it our ability to be carefree. It’s always best to have this discussion to cover all areas and possibilities. Stay safe too, Tracy!
Thank you for the tips, I have 4 kids and they are rarely alone in public. I will be sharing these tips with my kids.
Thanks Dawn! I’m glad this post will be helpful to you and your family.
I have 2 kids. I’m always alert. I’m pick them on bus stop. Always they have to call me when the bus pick them up at the school. I always use http://www.minormonitor.com to help monitor their online accounts, and cell phones apps (family gps tracker) (safe browser) Thanks for sharing your tips with us!
Thanks for sharing Minor Monitor! I’ll be looking into it for our family. 🙂
Dd is only 2, so of course she is never out of sight of a family grown up, but I still worry constantly. Just the other day at the store she wandered just a few feet away around a corner. I had a minor freakout (minor because dh could still see her and let me know where she was before I had a chance to escalate). I’m not looking forward to the first time she wants to go somewhere without me.
Yes, that’s the time when you really start to worry. It’s pretty much out of your hands at that time and we just have to make sure that we’ve armed them with what we can. Thanks for the visit Sarah!
As hard as it is to think about these types of situations, it’s always better to be safe, rather than sorry. I can’t even imagine what I would do if something were to happen to my girls. Thank you for such a great post.
Your welcome, Heather! It’s always good to create more safety awareness especially when it comes to children.
It’s heartbreaking that we have to have these types of conversations with our kids. However, I agree with you that we increase their chances of avoiding or surviving these scenarios when we talk to them about them and discuss a plan of action. Thanks for sharing these great tips!
That’s how I felt when talking to my 2 eldest. It’s like I had to take a little of their innocence to explain the dangers out there. Better that I do that though then let them go out without any knowledge and idea of practicing safety.
Great article! This is such important information for parents and kids to be aware of. Every teacher, pastor, etc. – anyone that works with children – should know about this. My children are too young right now (21 months) to know about this stuff, but you can bet we’ll be having these conversations for sure!
I’m glad this has added to the ideas you have and to the talk you’ll have in the future with your children. This kind of topic never gets old or passe and all the more it has to be strengthened and promoted. Thanks for stopping by!
What an important post! Child safety is SO important and everyone needs to be educated. This is great for starting a conversation with the kids and really to help them understand overall! Thanks 🙂
Thank you Kate! I was contemplating how to write this post. I wanted to be able to get my point across but not instill too much fear that readers wouldn’t want to continue reading it.
Great tips! I think every parent should read these. It’s amazing how many abductions and attempted abductions there are every day. I watched the news this morning and there were two attempts in two different towns on the same day. Such a scary world that we live in.
It is a scary world that we live in and it’s more horrifying when you learn about the different dangerous scenarios that occur when it comes to children. I’m at a loss for words when I read about the crimes that happen.
It is rather sad thing that kids don’t grow up they way we did. I lived on a farm so neighbors were pretty far away but we road bikes up and down our road and never gave a thought to anything that could happen. The one thing I feel is important not just for kids is alway be aware of your surroundings. When I moved to a big city I learned that being aware could save your life. Thanks for posting such great tips.
Yes, awareness is a big factor in keeping safe. It’s sad those days are gone. I was also carefree as a child and it seemed those kinds of dangers were a world away.
It’s really quite depressing how bad our world is becoming. Long gone are the days where kids could just be kids! I remember when I was younger all the things my parents allowed me to do and go, and it wasn’t scary at all. Now I am a mother, and during these times, I so wouldn’t let my kiddos do some of the things I was allowed to do! Because our environment has become more dangerous. And that is just so sad! Thanks for the great tips!
Same here, I was gone for hours playing with my friends and sometimes on my own. I didn’t think about anyone abducting me or hurting me. Today, I’m very strict. My children are used to all my questions and restrictions. I guess that’s just the way life has to be to make sure they are safe.
I’ve always prepared my children for dangers. They would probably call me over protective but I know first hand what can happen to children even children in groups.
One scenario that actually happened:
My sisters and I were playing in the yard. We made a make shift band with cardboard boxes and such. A car drove up and the driver said ‘play me a song and I’ll give you a dollar’. My sister was quick to approach the car as money at this age meant candy from the local store. He exposed himself and I grabbed my sister and we ran.
We were in a group (3) yet this still happened. I was aware enough to keep her away but I don’t know what would have happened had he tried grabbing her into the car.
I think it is important for parents to present scenarios of ‘friendly predators’ too. This would be people that are in your sphere of social influence like teachers, sunday school teachers, uncles, aunts, neighbors, parents friends, etc.
Often times we prepare them for strangers approaching but sometimes it is those we see day in and day out that are the danger. For an example, I would maybe present the story of Elizabeth Smart. Her parents hired people to work on their house and were kind to strangers and with their religion brought their children up to be kind and giving. Because of this a ‘friendly stranger’ was able to kidnap her.
One point is danger like in the above story – knife or gun or threat to kill family – all are very difficult scenarios but they are reality and our children need to have these presented to them and practice ways out so that if something were to actually happen it would be second nature (habit) to fight, scream, tell, and report.
That’s frightening what happened to you. It’s a good thing that you were aware of a possible danger if you let your sister alone. Sadly, danger is not limited to strangers and in some studies it shows that harm can come more so from someone you know than someone you don’t. Thanks for sharing your experience. It helps reinforce our aim for safety awareness.
I too recently did a post about this. Kidpower.org is an excellent resource – they have videos that kids can watch – made me think of it when you said you made your kids watch “trust”. Kid awareness is so important now days. thanks for posting this!
Thanks for sharing that site Angel! It’s a comprehensive website that features bullying and abuse prevention and stranger safety. Sometimes a video helps get the point across especially when it comes to tweens and teens.
I would add never discuss when you are out of town or away from home for extended periods of time on social media platforms.
Thanks for that addition Jasmine! Life nowadays is closely monitored by your friends and family through social networks we don’t think that anyone would have any intention to harm us. Surprisingly, many people still keep their profiles on social networks public for the world to see where they are at that minute, where they ate and what they will be doing.
How frightening to think of the possibilities. If anything, I needed the reminder to be more vigilant in teaching my daughter safety in this area. I also plan to watch Trust per your suggestion. My daughter isn’t that old yet, but it’s healthy for me to be aware before she begins using the internet independently! Thank you.
Thanks for taking up my suggestion. Taking steps to make ourselves aware of the dangers will help us to explain to our children how they can practice child safety. I’m happy that I’m encouraging people to take a step towards planning child safety!
I think as parents we have to find that balance between keeping our kids safe and letting them have a proper childhood. It’s important that they know about safety, but it’s also important that we give them the opportunity to develop independence.
Yes, and hopefully we can all find that balance. They should be able to live their lives and learn from their own experiences. Thanks Erin!
The world is such a scary place! I wish that we could protect our children forever. My son is still very little, but I know the day is coming when I won’t be able to be with him all day. Thank you for the tips!
Your welcome Michelle! I wish the same thing too but it would stifle their chance at a healthy and independent life. I’m glad this is of help to you.
Oh man, this topic is sooo scary! I can’t believe you actually witnessed an attempted abduction! I am scared to death of this happening and I see that I have some precautions to take! I never let my kids out of my sight, except for when they’re with babysitters, at school or at a friend’s house, but the thought is always in the back of my head…I hope they’ll be alright. I’m constantly reinfocing the fact that I need to know where they are at all times so that I can help protect them, and to never answer the door themselves. Aaaah it makes me feel paranoid but you just never know! Thanks for these tips, they are crucial!!
Also keep in mind the possible danger from people they may already know. Sorry to add to your worries! I know it can make you crazy thinking about these things. Having a plan in place will help because it assures your child and it also assures you.
Good post that covers all the bases…
I saw that movie ‘Trust’ – that was crazy…online safety is the hardest to enforce in this day and age. Older kids should watch that show ‘Catfish’ too.
My nephew is 8 and he looks through the peek hole before opening the door for someone he knows, but the other day, hit got me thinking because he opened the door for an aunt that doesn’t visit that often, and it got to me thinking that maybe it wasn’t the best policy to say that he can open it to relatives that he knows just because you never know who may show up and why… we now just told him to tell an adult when someone is at the door.
Thanks Yona, I wanted to make sure to cover all the scenarios I could. I’ll have to check out Catfish. It’s better that an adult answers the door rather than a child. Even if the parents are home.
I agree. My heart sinks to think about this topic, but thanks for the ideas and there are a lot of good ideas in the discussion.
Thanks Jamie! I’m glad it helped create an awareness.
It can be very scary to think of those “possible scenarios”, but I agree it’s important to teach our kids how to handle themselves and stay safe. We’ve traveled quite a bit and have talked to our boys about why we don’t wander off and stuff like that. I’ll have to take time and make sure they really understand how to keep safe when they’re home alone too.
Hi Stephanie,
It’s very scary when you think about it and it has kept me up nights. It’s best to cover all bases. Hope you’ve gotten some tips from here for your discussion with them.
It’s a good idea to make our children aware of the dangers out there and help them to be equipped to handle them. I’m not sure how young to start talking to my children about this; my oldest is 2, so I want to be thinking about how to handle this in the future!
Hi Ruby, I started talking to my children when they were 5 years old. Before that they were aware of the concept but not the different scenarios and nothing in detail. As they were growing I had to force myself to talk to them about it even at such a young age. Now they’re 13 and 12 years old and I’m confident they know what to do and I hope they are able to act if they should ever find themselves in such a situation. I have a 3 year old and I’ll have to have the discussions again but it’ll be easier this time around. Good luck to you! 🙂
There’s just no real way to protect our children at all times, from all things. So talking with them about scenarios they might encounter, and brainstorming ways to handle it, is so crazy-important. Even as an adult – when I did self defence classes, that was something they taught… Making us imagine things that could happen, and think about what we’d do. The more you do that, the more you train your brain to act in the moment. Great tips here!
Thanks Meagan! That’s what I tried to do as well. Imagine the possible scenarios. To be honest there are so many of them that it can get depressing thinking about it. What’s important is to have talked about it and created an awareness. As in the movie Trust, an awareness was not created so she wasn’t sure what was going on and realized too late what was happening.